If walls could talk
By Morgan Davis
Content Warnings
- There is a slight age restriction, just in the sense that children may not be ready to breach the subject of harassment, sexual harrasment, racism, or xenophobia. Ages: 12+ Depending on each parent or guardian’s preference
- Contains:
- indirect references to Emotional or Verbal violence (in terms of xenophobic slurs)
- Contains indirect references to sexual violence
- Contains references to depression
- Contains an indirect reference to abortion and abortion laws being overturned
- Contains descriptions of returning from a funeral and the quantity of death in a minority household during the pandemic.
- Contains descriptions of racism and prejudice against nationality and migrant status.
My family is with me today, my family was with me yesterday too,
My family has been by my side every day for the past two years!
In the beginning it was hard to understand why,
Why everyday my family walked through the door,
Masks on their faces in clothes darker than the night sky…
Oh,it must mean that another part of my family is gone,
Tears have coated my floors at least once a month this year…
My family sits many days now circled around the TV,
Looking at the screen, I watch the tears run down their faces.
“Fear has gripped the nation!” the TV announces and I see it,
Why are they afraid of some extra time together?
They fear watching the news as protests cover the screen,
Rubber bullets maiming children, simply fighting to be seen.
My family has been here for months now and things have changed…
I’m sure it’s only temporary I can’t wait for Easter decorations,
But they never adorn me with the pastel designs…
My family is unwell and things continue to change,
The floor beneath me shakes in the storm of emotions.
The earth must sympathize with my family because the “sky is crying” as Gary B.B. Coleman echoes through me,
Drops of rain pound against me and I sigh, what is happening?
My family’s eyes have lost their light
The kitchen lacks the choking smell of dried chili peppers that used to set off my alarms,
It’s so quiet now, almost as if they aren’t here.
My family is shattering and I realize that I can’t protect them,
My walls can no longer shelter my family from the pain.
Anger is the new stage of grief that overcame my family recently, maybe blue was the wrong color for me…
Racist remarks and attacks cause my family to be hypervigilant,
They try to protect their friends that America blames,
Fighting against the notion that this is the “Asian Virus”
It sickens them that the world has come to this
I am so strong they can lean on me for strength I won’t move
My family braces their daughter with long talks these days,
“Stay safe, keep pepper spray and never go out at night alone”.
I watch as she hides in her room, scared to go to parties,
Laws linger on the screen claiming to punish women who are hurt.
The world outside seems dangerous and sad,
I am proud to keep them safe with my locks and brick walls.
My thoughts settle on what will happen as she moves away,
A dorm filled with men who could never bear the consequences.
My family is nursing small wounds on their arms and smiling,
It seems very confusing to be so happy about the pain,
Yet it brings me joy to feel the warmth of their happiness again,
The windows are open and the stark smell of bleach fills me.
Like a tornado they clean, clean and clean,
My floors are scrubbed, my walls wiped down and every room receives a bath of lysol.
I feel so refreshed and the tranquility on their faces is like sunshine
My family is healing and it’s beautiful
The news is something that still frequents the TV,
The death toll still haunts them and now protests fill the screen
My family is reintegrating with society once again leaving me
My family is breathing and they place the pictures of everyone they lost on one of my shelves, to remember them…
Scars are wounds that have healed and as my family’s caring home I see the scar getting lighter on their hearts, I hope they stay.
Description
The idea of this piece was to observe covid from a third person perspective, specifically from the perspective of a home. I used words to create a sense of empathy for those who lost people during the Pandemic, along with people who were blamed or hurt during the pandemic. I wanted to create an idea of unity for those who read the poem and for each person to see that we are healing and growing after this catastrophe.
Reflection
i. The process of applying and working with the access to a Micro Grant allowed me to be more creative in collecting information for my piece. Personally, when creating a poem you do not need more than pencil and paper, but knowing that this foundation was available to me allowed me to feel more secure in traveling further to speak to people about their experiences. During the post pandemic time gas was expensive and having the ability to pay for that and drive to different parts of the state to speak to different ethnicities helped me to develop this project when I otherwise would not be able to.
ii. Through the pandemic I believe that millions of children and adults learned to work differently than before which allowed for creativity to flower. So many people including myself were driven into a depressed state as social interaction was almost completely cut off. It hurt, but for me this process helped me to see the world from a different perspective. I learned to find beauty in quiet nights and in silent rooms as I read novels and wrote my own poems. Covid destroyed so many parts of my family but it also helped families to become closer again, even though we were stuck at home we were still able to live.
iii. CAL students would definitely benefit from similar programs and processes, because it opens your mind to understanding other people. The financial support can open up doors that many college students simply don’t have access to and any type of aid can help to further their education. Whether it be helping a student paint, experience the lives of others, or attain materials to study; the Micro Grant lifts us up in order to place students at the starting line for the race to success.